Champion?!? Don't make me laugh (sexpert)

[K.C. James]

***"Beat Goes On" Travis Barker ft Cypress Hill***

The pyrotechnics dance across the stage as the music blares across the P.A. system. The flash photography takes commonplace among the crowd. K.C. James is one of the few athletes who can trash talk the people and still administer popularity. His presence is infectious - the good kind. James as usual does not travel alone. Parting the smoke waltzes K.C. arm hooked with Niko Cade. The two stand on the entrance ramp as The Main Event Element signals his beautiful assistant for the microphone. The two then continue their stroll down to the ring as James takes to the microphone.

K.C: Cut my music monkeys.

As cued, James music cuts out just leaving the dull roar of the crowd. K.C. slides in under the bottom rope as Niko walks the steps ducking in under the middle rope. The Main Event Element hops up on a corner turnbuckle and Niko leans back between his legs.

K.C: So I'm sure the fans here have not got their full fill of The Innovation Sensation yet am I right?

A few fans cheer.

K.C: What was that y'all? Let me hear you scream my name!!

A few more fans take to cheering. K.C. shakes his head in disappointment.

K.C: Crafty management replacing my sheep with real fans. Well anywho...I'm gonna step a bit out of my character when I say congratulations to Toothpick Teddy.

The fans respond with a "huh?" in perfect unison.

K.C: Ah, there's my sheep I know and love. I apologize y'all I realize I used a five syllable word and most of you are only used to one or two.

And just like expected the fans turn to boos as the commentators look on, Allyson with her K.C. is despicable glares and Simon with his my idol is back grin.

K.C: The thing about K.C. James is, folks, he uses dictionary words. So do your best to follow along. I want to thank Toothpick Teddy, not because I like Santa in casual wear. No! Because when I outright challenge a locker room and one man steps forward, I give him props. Toothpick Teddy has the biggest pair of balls in that locker room. Mine are bigger, of course, but I get VIP suite, not no run of the mill locker room. I got that shit ages ago when I was starting in this biz.

K.C: Now onto a more significant pressing matter, his name is Sexpert. I'm gonna give you a real quick lesson kid. You think you have what it takes to be champion around here? I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, it takes more than looking good, and quite frankly you're even less than blessed in that category. How dare you speak my name, let alone in a manner of degradation.

The Main Event Element whispers in Niko's ear and she slides out of the way as James hops off the turnbuckle. K.C. grabs the end of the camera pointed at him in the center of the ring and leans in close to the lens, microphone to his lips.

K.C: You want to run around name calling like a child throwing a tantrum, fine. Have at it, kid. But the second my name's mentioned you better believe you crossed a line. Dwarflike?! Fella, you only got two inches on me in height and I'm sure I've got way more than that in length if you catch my drift. You wanna be a champion Sexpert, prove you should be a champion. Don't talk shit. It's a saying as old as time, if you can talk the talk, you better be able to walk the walk. Frankly, kid. I think you're nothing but a whiney little bitch.

K.C: So what do you say you "try" and prove me wrong, kid. For the love of all things holy put on some clothes cause nobody male female or transgender wants to see your neon white ass and step into the ring like a real man. Lets see if you can put the whiney little bitch act on hold for the night and finally let your balls drop. I'll be waiting and I'm not a very patient man Sexpert - Don't keep me waiting.

K.C. spits onto the camera lens and then shoves it out of his face in style true to his character and then tosses the microphone over to Niko before bouncing on his feet and stretching out his back on the ring ropes. Cade walks the steps and makes her way over to the commentators table.

Allyson: K.C. has only been back a few days and this is already his second challenge administered. What has lit a fire under K.C. James?!?

Simon: I'm going to sum it up for you in a few words, its called passion for the business. He has it thriving through his veins. James loves competition and when people give him a reason to step up he does. Oh and it looks like we're being joined by Niko Cade ladies and gentlemen, get the pretty lady a headset!

Niko takes a seat on a fold out chair behind the table adjusting her headset as Allyson continues.

Allyson: I don't know if its a thriving passion for the industry, Simon. In all honesty, it plain and simple just looks like K.C. wants to pick fights wherever he can.

Niko: Let me just stop you there Allyson. K.C. James is an incredible competitor and your right hes asking for competition, but not just for him. For every single one of these fans, because they deserve to be entertained.

Allyson: Excuse my french folks, but Niko that is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. James comes out here every time and cuts down these fans because he just expects them to adore him no matter what. K.C. James is no martyr, he's nothing but a pompous asshole.

Niko: Pompous? K.C. backs up how good he is every time he's in the center of that ring. And love him or hate him, the fans know why K.C. is here. He's here for them! Because they deserve to see better than the dribble thrown at them in James absence. No certainly he's no martyr, but James is most definitely a fierce competitor with a soft spot for entertaining these fans and the ones at home.

Simon: Alright, alright ladies. I enjoy a catfight just as much as the rest of the male population, but I got to speak for the fans in saying we truly wanna see if Sexpert has the balls to meet K.C. one on one right now.

Irritation is clearly starting to show on K.C.'s face. He waves his hand through the ropes for another microphone and the time keeper gladly hands him one.

K.C: Alright Sexpert, I've given you..

James checks his watch but theres none there.

K.C: ..plenty of time. Scoop, can you hear me?

The fans all look on in genuine curiosity as Scoop Daniels big head fills up the screen.

Scoop Daniels: Right here James.

K.C: Good, now did you find his locker room?

As if right on cue, the camera man turns to a locker room door, the name plate reading Sexpert

K.C. smirks as he sees this.

K.C: Alright, good boy. Now Scoop you knock till that little bitch comes out and you tell him where to find me. Cause knowing him he's in there getting a mani-pedi or some shit and ain't watching this cat on tv. Can you do that for me Scoop?

Scoop Daniels: Yes sir, knock until he answers and tell him where to find you. Check and check.what do I do if he doesn't want to meet you in the ring?

K.C: Do what you do best Scoop, piss him off and make him chase you.

Scoop nods in agreement and then the screen cuts back to the scene of James in the center of the ring. K.C. lifts his leg up in the corner and does a few stretches waiting to see whether or not the ball-less wonder will show face.

TBC[/b]

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