Post by johnmwhite on Mar 9, 2011 18:04:50 GMT -5
The following is a transcript from a secretly recorded phone conversation between the RW:REW commissioner John Michael White, in Detroit, MI, and his assistant and private nurse 'Andrea', full name unknown, in Madison, WI. The opening sound is believed to be a bald head smacking a desk:
John Michael White: Ahh! What is the matter with these people?
Andrea: Problem?
John Michael White: I send them to Wisconsin, I ask them to bust a few heads and cause a little noise, and the result is the damn Governor caves and agrees to negotiate with terror-- uh, with the unions. Do they not know how to wreck a party?
Andrea: Maybe you shouldn't rely on trying to use your employees as oblivious patsies for your political ambitions.
John Michael White: Don't you start! And I wouldn't have such a problem if it were just politics, but they hurt the business as well.
Andrea: What do you mean?
John Michael White: I'm looking at our accounts right now. Can you please explain to me why I am being billed for a ring, a stage, lights, sound, a broadcast booth, the whole shebang?
Andrea: You commissioned a wrestling match in a place without any of that stuff?
John Michael White: Of course I did, it's cheap! At least it was supposed to be. I didn't want someone hauling a damn ring to Wisconsin, or a freaking stage. Why a stage? There were steps right there at the front of the building. Oh I have a headache...
Andrea: You sound better though.
John Michael White: Yes, yes, I survived my bout with man flu, and I also feel a bit chirpier now that the Pope has told the world that my people were not actually responsible for the death of his deity, so that's a load off my mind....
Andrea: I sense sarcasm. Definitely sounds like you are better.
John Michael White: Whatever. Just bring everybody back, ASAP, because I have a card set up. Whenever I find out who is responsible for running up our credit card, they will have hell to pay, or at least its steward... but until then, the main event is going to teach these thugs a little lesson in cooperation.
Andrea: What did you have in mind?
John Michael White: Icy and DreamKiller are the top contenders for the StrongStyle title, so just for fun let's see if they can play nice on the same team, along with Jason Kuu. The three of them will take on Holiday, Sexpert and Titus Thompson. Let's see how those three deal with each other after fighting over the title that freaking Holiday still managed to hold onto. And to ensure no one decides to buy another ring or something, they will be in the ring in the StarMaker arena, inside a steel cage!
Andrea: All right, I'll let them know.
John Michael White: Good. Also, I need Mike Huckabee's number.
Andrea: *sigh* Why?
John Michael White: Bastard thinks he can bad mouth my Shebrew Natalie Portman? I don't think so.
Andrea: I don't think she's your 'Shebrew', I think you just watched Attack of the Clones too many times.
John Michael White: The Phantom Menace was better.
Andrea: ... gross.
John Michael White: That's not what I meant! Oh, look on the TV, the Wisconsin Republicans followed my suggestion. Stupid unions. Rights? It's not like you're born with them!
Andrea: I'll talk to you later, John.
--THWACK!--
John Michael White: Ahh! What is the matter with these people?
Andrea: Problem?
John Michael White: I send them to Wisconsin, I ask them to bust a few heads and cause a little noise, and the result is the damn Governor caves and agrees to negotiate with terror-- uh, with the unions. Do they not know how to wreck a party?
Andrea: Maybe you shouldn't rely on trying to use your employees as oblivious patsies for your political ambitions.
John Michael White: Don't you start! And I wouldn't have such a problem if it were just politics, but they hurt the business as well.
Andrea: What do you mean?
John Michael White: I'm looking at our accounts right now. Can you please explain to me why I am being billed for a ring, a stage, lights, sound, a broadcast booth, the whole shebang?
Andrea: You commissioned a wrestling match in a place without any of that stuff?
John Michael White: Of course I did, it's cheap! At least it was supposed to be. I didn't want someone hauling a damn ring to Wisconsin, or a freaking stage. Why a stage? There were steps right there at the front of the building. Oh I have a headache...
Andrea: You sound better though.
John Michael White: Yes, yes, I survived my bout with man flu, and I also feel a bit chirpier now that the Pope has told the world that my people were not actually responsible for the death of his deity, so that's a load off my mind....
Andrea: I sense sarcasm. Definitely sounds like you are better.
John Michael White: Whatever. Just bring everybody back, ASAP, because I have a card set up. Whenever I find out who is responsible for running up our credit card, they will have hell to pay, or at least its steward... but until then, the main event is going to teach these thugs a little lesson in cooperation.
Andrea: What did you have in mind?
John Michael White: Icy and DreamKiller are the top contenders for the StrongStyle title, so just for fun let's see if they can play nice on the same team, along with Jason Kuu. The three of them will take on Holiday, Sexpert and Titus Thompson. Let's see how those three deal with each other after fighting over the title that freaking Holiday still managed to hold onto. And to ensure no one decides to buy another ring or something, they will be in the ring in the StarMaker arena, inside a steel cage!
Andrea: All right, I'll let them know.
John Michael White: Good. Also, I need Mike Huckabee's number.
Andrea: *sigh* Why?
John Michael White: Bastard thinks he can bad mouth my Shebrew Natalie Portman? I don't think so.
Andrea: I don't think she's your 'Shebrew', I think you just watched Attack of the Clones too many times.
John Michael White: The Phantom Menace was better.
Andrea: ... gross.
John Michael White: That's not what I meant! Oh, look on the TV, the Wisconsin Republicans followed my suggestion. Stupid unions. Rights? It's not like you're born with them!
Andrea: I'll talk to you later, John.
--Click.--
