It all started in the porn shop.

[Toothpick Teddy]

The year was 1873. The night was black like Blake Worship's skin, the day was white like Icy Cold's ice. The men and poets danced on the streets but in one shop, on a dark orange street stood a man. The man wore a blue hat, blue as the water that flows in the toilets of REW. The man held a cane in his left hand and a bag of sunflowers in the others.

A disgruntled soldier approached the man, looking at the sunflowers.

"Say, are them sunflowers real?" asjed the disgruntled soldier.

The man looked at him with a look that Scotty Raven gives his wife when she forgets to clean the bathroom and Scotty's toilet seat gets stuck and he has to use the one in the arena.

"These sunflowers are as real as the soul of our great nation!"
cries the man, shoving the flowers into the disgruntled soldier's face. The disgruntled soldier sheds ONE single tear and shoves the flowers away.

"So be it! The soul of our nation is GONE! We are souless, souless like these beautiful sunflowers! I would have fought for them like I fought for our nation, I would have died for them if they were real, but they are just an illusion, an illusion like the hand of our president on the slab of the consitution! "

The disgruntled soldier picks up the tear he shed earlier, glues it back to his face and approaches a crowd of pigeons who are busy picking at a can of sardines.

"Poor birds, this can of sardines is as empty as our nation!".

The soldier's tear falls into the can of sardines.

Meanwhile the man with the sunflowers looks to the sky.

"What is my destiny?" he asks the sky. The asky suddenly gets a mouth and starts talking which is pretty weird I guess. But its part of the story so read and dont judge.

"Your destiny is to be a LEADER among men, a KING among worms, A SHAPE AMONG TRIANGULAR TUBULES!" instructs the sky. The man nods his head and eats an entire sunflower which transforms him into the future.

That man is Grufter.

Grufter lands in a porn shop as his flashback ends.

"Its time to create my fate!" cries out Grufter and browses the extensive DVD collection. Upon making an educated decision, Grufter exits the fine establishments and goes to the REW. Slipping past the retarded REW security, Grufter slips one of the DVDs backstage into the AV truck and walks out to the ring.

"and now for our feature presentation!" says Grufter as porn rolls on the Raven Vision. Grufter begins to pleasure himself in the middle of the ring in the most controversial REW moment in 2011...no, in the history of REW!

"This is disgusting!" cries Allyson.

"That chick has four breasts!" notices Simon as he sits glued to the screen.
How will this controversy end?

Who will put a stop to it?

CONTINUE YOU FATS!

TBC by YOU.

[/size]

[Razor Sharp]

Inside the ring Grufters going big or he's going home and as he whips out a penis pump it's clear that he has every intention of going BIG. As he slides it on and begins to take the nickname of another famous wrestler of Big Papa Pump the lights in star maker arena fade to black and a neon pink and purple glow emits from the top of the entrance ramp and a song fitting for just this occasion plays out, My Darkest Days "Porn Star Dancing".

Stepping out from behind the curtain is the very luscious, tempting, and Ultra Violent Vixen know known as the assistant of Razor Sharp, Pixie. Dressed in a tight spandex outfit she looks like a female assassin out of an action movie and quickly she makes her way to the ring where Grufter has now taken the pump of himself and is proud to display he just may be the biggest man on the roster.

::Simon:: "Tattoo's, spandex, eye shadow that sparkles, and bright pink lip stick, I think Pixies come to partake in a little action!"

::Allyson:: "Eww Simon, that's gross. All of this just simply makes me sick to my stomach."

::Simon:: "Guess it's safe to say I'm the only one touching myself!"

::Allyson:: "WHAT?!?"

::Simon:: "Umm, nothing just scoot a little closer to me!"

Back inside the ring Pixie slowly walks a circle around Grufter who watches every move intently stroking in rhythm to the music. Pixie looks at him and smiles grabbing his free hand she brings it up to her chest as she bites down on her bottom lip and Grufter is one lucky man getting to feel up the Princess of Pain.

::Pixie:: "I bet you like that huh? I bet you even like to play ruff like me, hmm?

::Grufter:: "I play GRUFF RUFF RUFF!"

::Pixie:: "Good, then you're going to like this."

With Grufters hand still on her boob she reaches into her top and pulls out a pair of hand cuffs and quickly slaps on end on his hand and then twists it around his back with an arm lock take down and forces him to the canvas and snags his other wrist in the cuffs. Across the P.A. the sound of clapping blasts out and a spot light shines on top of the ramp as the lights dim elsewhere around the stage. With a gleaming bald head and dressed in a business suit Razor stands clapping and with a mic used on talk shows clipped to him.

::Razor Sharp:: "That was an interesting display to say the least from our 2010 New Star of the year, and I'm sure John, myself, and a team will have to do our best to cover the damage you have caused. That aside Mr. Grufter I'm here to once again say congrats on being REW's 2010 New Star of the Year and inform you that you are in violation of our feds fine policies. Now last year the staff pretty much let anything go, they let Aaron Holiday get screwed out of his championship, they didn't resolved matters as the rule book deems necessary and by doing so we lost a good French man named Jacques."

::Allyson:: "Indeed we did!"

::Razor Sharp:: "But as REW moves forward this year, as the name becomes synonymous with Ring Wars the standard here has to improve and it is my New Years resolution to ensure and enforce that change. Per REW Policies, section 3, rule 1 there is to be NO sexually explicit actions or full frontal nudity. So with that said I have but one last thing to say, Mr. Grufter there's a new sheriff in town and my name is Razor Sharp, please come with my to my office willingly or by all means, we can do this the hard way."

::Simon:: "Judging by Grufters erection he just might do this the hard way."

[Trash]

The lights dim, finally obscuring Grufter's grotesque display of anatomy and eliminating the incessant glare reflecting off Razor Sharp's shallow dome.

A man stands up from the crowd, all the way in the back of the arena and begins to walk down through the crowd with a microphone in his hand as he speaks in a dry, emotionless voice.

"So I walked in here tonight, walked in with a ticket in my hand and a hope that I will see something different. I take my seat among these fans and I see the same old story in the ring. One idiot pretends to be cool and edgy by whipping out his genitals in public and the other one plays up to it by putting a shiny gold star on himself and calling himself sheriff.

You can spare the theatrics guys, because this play is one that has been seen too many times. Sure, you might think that you're being entertaining, even INTERESTING to these fans...but the truth is they couldn't care less about you. They've seen this all before, this is nothing new, nothing to truly get their blood pumping and the pupils of their eyes to race. Of course they tell you a different story. Sure, they'll jump up and down, cheer at the "good" guy and regurgitate profanity at the "bad" one, but they are only doing it to make themselves feel good.

You see, this family here, "

Trash approaches a family of four sitting near him.

" This family paid a good amount of money for these tickets, they all came here together, they all planned and waited, they want to be entertained. They don't want to think about how what they are watching isn't worth the tape its being filmed on. They don't want to realize that they've just wasted their hard earned money to watch meaningless banter between two men with a fly's intelligence shared between them.

I know what you're thinking Razor, I can see it in your eyes..."

Trash looks at Razor and the camera zooms in to show a grin coming up one the man's face as he cracks his knuckles, awaiting a good old fashioned challenge.

"And although they might want to see a brawl here tonight, that would also be a waste of time. All of you sitting around me, just ask yourself this one question. Whats the point?

What is the point of sitting here watching fights, watching people diss each other, watching pointless segments with pointless wrestlers. Are you really doing anything with your time? Are you truly entertained and if so, then at what price? Are you sitting here developing your skills? Are you learning new knowledge? Are you progressing further into awakening, into realizing the nature of our reality?

Or are you wasting time, precious time on pointless theatrics that will do nothing more than dumb you down? Sure, some of you might have time..."

Trash looks at a young kid sitting on the steps between two rows.

"As much as what? 80? 90? years to be optimistic...but each second of that time is wasted unless you seek knowledge, unless you improve yourself. Some of you, it might be too late. You've already eradicated your capacity to seek the truth and to improve yourself. Like a guinea pig fattened in a labarotory, you are no longer capable of anything that you SHOULD be capable of"

Razor yawns which sends waves of laughter through the crowd. Grufter decides that the waves are directed at him and begins to fondle his own balls, all in the public display. Fortunately the lights are still out, save for a spotlight on the guest speaker.

Razor grabs a mic, pushing Grufter aside and coming to the side of the ring, leaning over the top rope and staring a hole through the newcomer on top of the stairway.

"I also know that these fans didn't come here to listen to some drag queen look alike waste their time by whining all over this place. You talk of points and wasting time, so how about you quit wasting all of our time and come down here so I can show you what I am capable of!"

Again, cheers and cheers for Razor and more testicle fondling by Grufter.

"Now now, sheriff, it seems you've got the pleibeans excited. We wouldn't want that, now would we? You want to fight me because your confidence, your happiness, your EXISTENCE depends on the whims of this crowd of fools. You see unlike..."

To be continued by Razor Sharp in whichever way he pleases.

[Razor Sharp]

"Now now, sheriff, it seems you've got the pleibeans excited. We wouldn't want that, now would we? You want to fight me because your confidence, your happiness, your EXISTENCE depends on the whims of this crowd of fools. You see unlike..."

::Razor:: "Unlike what? These people, the men and women in the back busting their ass putting their career, their body, their heart and soul on the line each night they come into the ring and perform under these lights for all these people? You're right, I do have the confidence to get the job done, and in turn getting the job done brings me happiness and in order for that to happen this world, this enviorment becomes my soul existince! But you unlike these people don't but into it do you?"

::Trash:: "You're right, that's exactly what I was getting to before you cut me off because you merely wanted to hear the sound of your own voice echo out bringing you reassurance and comfort. I'm not like these people or the one track minded brutes you have in the back like yourself. I beg for reason with my rhyme, my actions speak with meaning where as yours speak with insecure and over rated selfish pride."

::Razor:: "I assure you that I have no insecurities, but I can tell you just simply don't have the freedoms these fine people and myself can enjoy. What you would consider the mindless dissing, the verbal attacks and the physical brawling to you may seem to be nothing more than that, but let's take Joe here from the audience who hates his boss and would love nothing more than to tell him to kiss his ass and give him a good old beat down. Well bottom line he can't but when he watches someone like Aaron Holiday break all the rules, tell the company to shove it up their ass and gets to deck his boss in the process it makes Joe feel better about his day and allows him to escape!"