Post by Toothpick Teddy on Oct 20, 2010 11:05:54 GMT -5
REW is rocked by Bald Man Johnny's shocking announcement of yet another return of the famous Ring Wars. The fans are extremely excited...
Just look at that excitement!
All of a sudden Fishmen began to head down every aisle and down the entrance ramp and out from behind the announcer's desk and from underneath the ring and even out of Dreamkiller's magical purse...
The Dark Lord travels in STYLE.
The fans wake up and become CONFUSED...
Where the hell am I?
The Fishmen surround the ring and begin to bow down.
To the king of kings...
The big ass fin means he's the bestest...kind of like having a big schlong... he's also a schlonghead.
All of a sudden the big merman king of kings rips his elaborate disguise off and reveals himself to be the EMPERORS OF EMPERORS...GRUFTER!
Grufter.
In 329 BC.
[Simon the vile:] Grufter? I guess you could say something is...FISHY in here!
[Allyson the repulsive:] *Facepalm* Lets see what Grufter has to say and what all these relatives of yours are doing here, Simon...
Grufter grabs the microphone which just happens to be laying around in the ring for no apparent reason other than to set this up. THIS IS WHY GRUFTER IS CONCERNED!
It could be a ....
TRAP!
Grufter throws the microphone into the garbage and one of the mermen tosses him a microphone made out of shells...Sea Shells...he brought it from Sally...at the seashore.
[Grufter the attractive:] Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages and fishmen of all the seas. I have heard the news that like Atlantis rising from the bottom of the sea, the great empire once known as the War Of The Rings is being raised up fron the bottom of the sea where it has been lost for a thousand years!
The fans go crazy. A few fans attempt to kill themselves upon learning that the Posh controlled Ring Wars is going to be around again. They must've not listened to John M White's promo.
Of course, there is no danger of Posh running the revived Ring Wars...
I might've just jinxed it...
But nonetheless the fans are still concerned.
I mean, it would be as if somebody revived WcW and had Vince Russo and Eric Bichoff involved in it again!
Not as bad as you think...
The Fishmen begin spitting water at Grufter and the ring...
[Grufter the attractive:] Now you might be wondering what all these Fishmen and myself, the great Grufter are doing out here right now? Well, we are here on a MISSION! You see, the forces of the world underneath the sea are angry! Angry because, I, Grufter have been DISRESPECTED, MISUSED and UNDERRATED right here in REW. And now I am sick of it and so are these Fishmen.
That's why when the time comes, me and these fishies right here are NOT gonna stand with Real Extreme Wrestling but instead we will be on the side that is right, the side that is white...
John M WHITE
The Ring Wars side! And the fact that I get to stay in a Casino has NOTHING to do with it! So when I win at slots and become the richest man in REW and Ring Wars combined, I will be glad that I choose to do battle at the side of Ring Wars and my man...BOBBY LASHLEY!
Bobby Lashley walks down the ramp wearing a fish costume.
The post WWE world is not kind...
[Grufter the attractive:] So REW, get your swimming gear on because you BATHTURDS are about to get flushed down the toilet at the end of the month!
The Mermen spit water all over Fishman Lashley who looks angrier than a pack of a cigarretes. Grufter hops out of the ring and into awaiting hands of the crowd who begin to argue with themselves over which side to support in the coming WAR OF WARS!
