Post by Night Crawler on Dec 30, 2009 6:16:17 GMT -5
The Scene; REW parking lot.
The time? Late. Like... REALLY late.
And like so many times before, the ambiance is broken by the sound of screeching tires. This time the camera catches the quick glimpse of what appears to be a black pedo van racing into the parking lot. As the van takes a sharp cut around a medium, there's a zoom in on a pair of yellow, fury breasts painted on the side.
Because I need interaction at SOME point, security at the gate steps out and begins to watch in dismay as the van takes another sharp turn, this time clipping some poor assholes mirror, taking it clean off.
:Guard 1: The hell is that...
Another sharp left, and this time the camera gets a the whole side of the van on video, and a better explanation to the yellow breasts...
...Funshine the Care Bear. Painted with fake breasts and made to look like a World War II decal on a bomber plane.
With the same lingerie.
This gets a pop from the crowd, especially the geriatrics in the audience old enough to know what's gonna happen next.
The van ramps off the security spike, flies into the gates just in front of the arena entrance, and then comes to an an anti-climactic halt. Both guards reach towards their side arms and begin to slowly approach the smoking vehicle. That's when the door kicks open, and some ogre of a man stumbles out of the passenger seat...
:NightCrawler: FUCK! I'M LATE!!!
The driver's side opens, and out hops...that's right...ZOMBIE FUNSHINE!!!
:Funshine: I told you methadone clinics take longer than a week...
Funshine dusts himself off, and reaches into pockets he doesn't have in order to find their security clearance. The security guards, well aware of the Care Bear's previous antics, take the most logical action...the begin to fire.
:Guard 1: HE'S GOING FOR A GUN! SMOKE 'EM!
The lay about 20 rounds into Funshine gangster style, shouting random obscenities and racial slurs in between the claps from their glocks. NightCrawler, watching as his beloved companion/indentured servant is gunned down, collapses to his knees and lets out a whale of a...well, wail I guess.
:NightCrawler: FFFFUUUUNNNSSSSSS-
He's cut off...
:Funshine: Zombies can't die, numbskull. Go get my sewing kit out from the back.
The second guard takes one more shot for good measure before the two holster their weapons...
:Guard 1: Just what the hell do you two think you're doing barging in here like this?
:Funshine: ...that's NightCrawler. He's here for, uhh... some kind of appearance?
The guard heads back to his keyosk and checks his clipboard.
:Guard 2: Um, weren't you guys supposed to be here weeks ago? And not only that, I only have authorization to let NightCrawler in here. This is a pet free facility, sir.
On cue, the back of the van opens, and out spills the rest of the Care Bear gang...
:Cheer Bear: Maybe THIS will change your mind...
Cheer Bear hops in front of the guards, and makes the motion of ripping open her shirt.
Except she doesn't have a shirt.
Or boobs.
Because she's a fucking Care Bear.
The guards stare idle and confused, giving NC and Funshine just enough time to sneak into the arena...
Probably heading to the showers to wash the rest of the rust off...
TBC?
The time? Late. Like... REALLY late.
And like so many times before, the ambiance is broken by the sound of screeching tires. This time the camera catches the quick glimpse of what appears to be a black pedo van racing into the parking lot. As the van takes a sharp cut around a medium, there's a zoom in on a pair of yellow, fury breasts painted on the side.
Because I need interaction at SOME point, security at the gate steps out and begins to watch in dismay as the van takes another sharp turn, this time clipping some poor assholes mirror, taking it clean off.
:Guard 1: The hell is that...
Another sharp left, and this time the camera gets a the whole side of the van on video, and a better explanation to the yellow breasts...
...Funshine the Care Bear. Painted with fake breasts and made to look like a World War II decal on a bomber plane.
With the same lingerie.
This gets a pop from the crowd, especially the geriatrics in the audience old enough to know what's gonna happen next.
The van ramps off the security spike, flies into the gates just in front of the arena entrance, and then comes to an an anti-climactic halt. Both guards reach towards their side arms and begin to slowly approach the smoking vehicle. That's when the door kicks open, and some ogre of a man stumbles out of the passenger seat...
:NightCrawler: FUCK! I'M LATE!!!
The driver's side opens, and out hops...that's right...ZOMBIE FUNSHINE!!!
:Funshine: I told you methadone clinics take longer than a week...
Funshine dusts himself off, and reaches into pockets he doesn't have in order to find their security clearance. The security guards, well aware of the Care Bear's previous antics, take the most logical action...the begin to fire.
:Guard 1: HE'S GOING FOR A GUN! SMOKE 'EM!
The lay about 20 rounds into Funshine gangster style, shouting random obscenities and racial slurs in between the claps from their glocks. NightCrawler, watching as his beloved companion/indentured servant is gunned down, collapses to his knees and lets out a whale of a...well, wail I guess.
:NightCrawler: FFFFUUUUNNNSSSSSS-
He's cut off...
:Funshine: Zombies can't die, numbskull. Go get my sewing kit out from the back.
The second guard takes one more shot for good measure before the two holster their weapons...
:Guard 1: Just what the hell do you two think you're doing barging in here like this?
:Funshine: ...that's NightCrawler. He's here for, uhh... some kind of appearance?
The guard heads back to his keyosk and checks his clipboard.
:Guard 2: Um, weren't you guys supposed to be here weeks ago? And not only that, I only have authorization to let NightCrawler in here. This is a pet free facility, sir.
On cue, the back of the van opens, and out spills the rest of the Care Bear gang...
:Cheer Bear: Maybe THIS will change your mind...
Cheer Bear hops in front of the guards, and makes the motion of ripping open her shirt.
Except she doesn't have a shirt.
Or boobs.
Because she's a fucking Care Bear.
The guards stare idle and confused, giving NC and Funshine just enough time to sneak into the arena...
Probably heading to the showers to wash the rest of the rust off...
TBC?