Post by themiracle on Jul 17, 2009 21:46:29 GMT -5
The obnoxious sound, of multiple automobile horns resounding in perfect harmony resonates through out the area.
"FUCKING MOVE!"
I continue holding my horn down, while traffic still remains at a stand still.
I look toward the beautiful brunette to my left. (we are in a foreign country) I smile, thus putting a damper on my road rage. She places her hand atop mine.
"I'm such a lucky man!"
"Teehee! Why is that?"
She interlocks her fingers with mine and smiles.
Because I'm looking at the most gorgeous human God has ever created.
She blushes and leans in to give me a kiss or something along those lines.
"Aww Manson you're so sweet."
"Ehh babe this is great and all, but you're totally blocking the mirror now."
The look on her face says it all. Anger! Confusion! Dismay! Sadness! But can you blame a fella for wanting to see his gorgeous reflection.
"Manson, You're an asshole!"
"Listen toots, you're lucky I kept you around as long as I have. If you don't like how I run things, you can find a new job sweetheart."
She grabs her purse, and exits the car. She walks away shaking her ass like I'm missing out, when in reality tonight she'll be curing her broken heart, with a tub of Häagen-Dazs® and some shitty Alanis Morissette albums.
I on the other hand am Manson Hallmark. I'm God's Gift To Himself! He decided to create the most divine creature he could as a token of his hard work, and I was the MIRACLE that followed.
"Does that girl really think I'd consider her a loss? I'm six foot three, two hundred and twenty-seven pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal. She must be smoking the crack rocks!"
As I continue sitting in the traffic jam, in my Bentley Continental GTC since I only obtain the best of course my cellphone rings.
I hit the screen and it comes to life revealing the call to be from REW head honcho Scotty Raven.
"It's Manson, talk to me!"
"Well hello Manson! It's Scotty Raven."
"Scotty, how can I help you?"
"I was just making sure everything is alright. I know you were supposed to have arrived fifteen minutes ago."
"Scotty, Scotty! You can't rush greatness! I know you're dying to add some real class and talent to you federation, but I'll be there in due time. The traffic in this place is horrendous."
"Alright Manson, just introduce yourself to my secretary upon arrival. She knows I'm expecting you."
"Whatever!"
I hit the button hanging up on Scotty. He's a total square. He really doesn't deserve a man of my stature's sweet time, on the phone. I have better things to be doing.
I pull a comb out of my pocket, and decide since traffic isn't going anywhere I might as well make my hair as flawless as the rest of me.