Building HEAT for the match of the century(all)!!!

[unstoppablebeast]

! (needed one more exclamation mark)

ANYWAY

ANYWAYS

ANYHOW

It is a monday. Tuesday is REW Tinklewinks, an exciting card made by new commissioner, Jack Kaiser (The leader of 19th century Germany!). As we are all excited about it and you know what so shut up. Anythus, this card has a lot of exciting well though out possible classic stupid matches such as...well, lets take the opener for example and if you ain't down with that, I got two balls for ya.

Anywee, the opener match is...lol im a chick sub zero from mortal kombat Icy Cold and drooling idiotRaving Lunatic teaming up together to face off against sexpert homo huh Some jobber and UNSTOPPABLE BEAST. Now theres a few things wrong with this match.

Let's list them.

*drumroll*



Thanks...

1. UNSTOPPABLE BEAST in the opener? The man who easily won his debut match, a talented and serious athlete who does not use steroids, in the OPENER match? That'll make REW lose a couple of hundred thousand bucks, thats for sure.

2. You team him up with, uh, that guy. Sorry but I dont think you couldve come up with a worse pairing. I get the whole names out of a hat thing, but I doubt that you even own a hat unless its one of those awesome German Kaiser hats that you can use to stab folks with...


Yeah that one, Kaiser...

4. Whatever happened to 3? Fuck three, that's what. I hate the number three, its retarded. Anydolphin, its a falls count anywhere *takes deep breath* tag team melee? Could you make any MORE stupid stipulations to add to this match? Why not just have, or I don't know...

Falls count anywhere except in places where Blake Worship's pet pomeranian pooped when he brought that dog to the arena with him for some reason, tag team, you must wear a costume of a bird, but not of a bird that lays eggs, otherwise you will have yolk on your face, triple cage filled with pudding and pancakes, eat your way through to your opponent, super submission wrestle a baby tiger while upside down hanging from a swingset, tag team, tag with a dinosaur but not a pterodactyl, first to recite the longest most accurate exact number that is equal to PI, swords and sorcery toga wearing roman emperor costume melee?

Yeah, maybe THAT'S what you were going for...Glad to help.

And by help I mean shut your face and take your bike to school day.

Oh and that's enough for today, I gotta leave some for Tuesday Night Tinklewinks tomorrow, brought you by our favorite 19th century Germany loving, mysteriously somehow added, extra commisioner, whats up with Blake Worship, take a hike mike, or vote Ike as is Eisenhower! He's a hero!

To be continued?

I think not.

Except tomorrow...when the match takes place.

BOO-YAH!


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