Post by siarlis on Jan 12, 2009 0:27:05 GMT -5
Two arena workers and standing around in the (Insert Name of Arena Here). Let’s say their names are Tod and Garfunkel. While these two are moving things around to set up for REW’s next big event, Tod notices that Garfunkel is singing to himself while listening to his iPod. Tod decides to say something.
Tod: What are you doing Pedro?
What!? Pedro... No his name is Garfunkel! Damn it! I'm the all powerful narrator! You shall succumb to my might... Oh screw it... So Garfunkel's name is actually Pedro and Tod is really...
Pedro: Carl!
Carl! See I knew that...
Pedro: Dude you gotta hear this.
Pedro walks up to Carl and hands him one of his ear phones. They both listen to the song and Tod nods his head to the beat.
Carl: This is good...
They both are enjoying the song so much, they decide to break out into song.
Pedro: That’s when she said it, looked me dead in the face,
Carl: Asked cash or credit, and I,
Both (In unison I might add): Jizzed in my pants!
While they foolish believe that nothing could possibly go wrong while singing a song like that aloud, someone decides to voice their musical taste.
: What in the name of the great Waddle Dee are you guys doing!?
The two of them hear this and turn around to see REW's favourite drunk Canadian Siarlis standing there with a perplexed look on his face.
Pedro: Oh...
Carl: Shnikes...
Siarlis: I suppose it is true good help is so hard to find.
Carl: Are we fired?
Pedro: I unno... I don't remember what are boss looked like.
Siarlis: No I'm not your boss... But, I probably know him so... Get to work!
Pedro: Yeah! Yeah! I'll see you later Carl.
Pedro walks away but, Carl stays in front of Siarlis.
Siarlis: Can I help you?
Carl: You look really familiar...
Siarlis: Do I... Do I really?
Carl: Yes you do.
Siarlis: O RLY?
Carl: I'm not doing that...
Siarlis: You suck... Anyways, where did you see me before? Oh, and if you say Horacio from CSI, I'll stab you!
Carl: No you're that Janitor guy from REW.
Siarlis: Good... I still wanna stab you...
Carl: Yeah... You are that guy who shows up for like one show and then disappears again.
Siarlis: Not helping your case here buddy.
Carl: Gonna make another run I suppose.
Siarlis: Well...
Before Siarlis can finish his sentence, someone dressed up like Raiden from Mortal Kombat jumps up to him and yells at him.
Raiden: I CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL KOMBAT!
Siarlis blankly stares at the man and then flicks him in the forehead with his finger.
Raiden: Oww....
Carl: Pedro what the fuck!? Where did you find that?
Oh cool the Rayden... I mean Raiden... Why did they change his name... Anyways the Raiden wanna be was Pedro... Never would have guessed...
Pedro: In one of the boxes I was moving. Pretty cool eh?
Siarlis: Hey! I'm the Canadian one. You're not allowed to use eh... eh?
Pedro: Sorry...
Siarlis: Anyways as I was saying...
Before Siarlis can finish his sentence he is interrupted by a familiar face.
: Pooky!
Siarlis realizes that it is the voice of play by play commentator, Allyson Cowell.
Siarlis: Uh oh…
Siarlis takes a deep breath, puts a smile on and turns around.
Siarlis: Oh! Hi!
Allyson: Hey… I haven’t seen you for a while.
Siarlis: Yeah… I missed you…
Allyson: Really!?
Siarlis: Umm… Sure…
Allyson holds on of Siarlis’ hands.
Allyson: I was so, happy when you showed up last time. Too bad you didn’t stay long.
Siarlis: I know…
Allyson: I mean after you showed up for that Battle Royal thingy, and after you unfortunately lost, we went out and had a fun night.
Siarlis: Yeah!
Allyson: But, then we were supposed to have a date the day after but, you had car trouble and couldn’t show up.
Siarlis: Sorry about that…
Allyson: We rescheduled but, then you had been attacked by ninjas on the way so, you said you would call me back to get another date set up.
As Allyson says this she starts to squeeze on Siarlis’ hand.
Siarlis: Umm… Ally!
Allyson: But, you didn’t call back and I thought something went horribly wrong! So I called you. Over and over and over again!
Ally starts to squeeze Siarlis’ hand more!
Siarlis: Ahhh! Ally what the hell!?
Allyson: 334 times! I called you 334 times… Maybe you changed your phone number. Then I sent you 700 emails but, no response.
Ally has starts to crush Siarlis’ hand. Siarlis is in so, much pain he falls to a knee.
Allyson: Maybe you didn’t have internet so, I sent you a letter, flowers, a collage with pictures of you and me that I photoshopped. Then I went to Canada to go to your parents’ house but, they said you weren’t there.
Siarlis: For the love of God, Ally this is my Cinemax hand.
Allyson: What!?
Ally sees Siarlis on his knees in pain.
Allyson: Opps… Well anyways that’s not important. You’re back now!
Ally gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Allyson: See you around!
Ally walks away while Siarlis gets back to his feet holding his hand. Siarlis turns back to Pedro and Carl.
Siarlis: That hurt!
Pedro: Mommasita est loco ese!
Siarlis: Ese… Did you just call me a term paper?
Carl: You’re an idiot!
Siarlis: Shut up! Anyways... I think I'm gonna be heading out now... Gonna go... Have nothing else to add to this post...
Carl: To the what?
Siarlis: Oh shit 4th wall! RUN!
Siarlis makes a hasty get away after being a god damn moron...
END...
Man I could have been Dyce's narrator but, no I went for this idiot!
Tod: What are you doing Pedro?
What!? Pedro... No his name is Garfunkel! Damn it! I'm the all powerful narrator! You shall succumb to my might... Oh screw it... So Garfunkel's name is actually Pedro and Tod is really...
Pedro: Carl!
Carl! See I knew that...
Pedro: Dude you gotta hear this.
Pedro walks up to Carl and hands him one of his ear phones. They both listen to the song and Tod nods his head to the beat.
Carl: This is good...
They both are enjoying the song so much, they decide to break out into song.
Pedro: That’s when she said it, looked me dead in the face,
Carl: Asked cash or credit, and I,
Both (In unison I might add): Jizzed in my pants!
While they foolish believe that nothing could possibly go wrong while singing a song like that aloud, someone decides to voice their musical taste.
: What in the name of the great Waddle Dee are you guys doing!?The two of them hear this and turn around to see REW's favourite drunk Canadian Siarlis standing there with a perplexed look on his face.
Pedro: Oh...
Carl: Shnikes...
Siarlis: I suppose it is true good help is so hard to find.
Carl: Are we fired?
Pedro: I unno... I don't remember what are boss looked like.
Siarlis: No I'm not your boss... But, I probably know him so... Get to work!
Pedro: Yeah! Yeah! I'll see you later Carl.
Pedro walks away but, Carl stays in front of Siarlis.
Siarlis: Can I help you?
Carl: You look really familiar...
Siarlis: Do I... Do I really?
Carl: Yes you do.
Siarlis: O RLY?
Carl: I'm not doing that...
Siarlis: You suck... Anyways, where did you see me before? Oh, and if you say Horacio from CSI, I'll stab you!
Carl: No you're that Janitor guy from REW.
Siarlis: Good... I still wanna stab you...
Carl: Yeah... You are that guy who shows up for like one show and then disappears again.
Siarlis: Not helping your case here buddy.
Carl: Gonna make another run I suppose.
Siarlis: Well...
Before Siarlis can finish his sentence, someone dressed up like Raiden from Mortal Kombat jumps up to him and yells at him.
Raiden: I CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL KOMBAT!
Siarlis blankly stares at the man and then flicks him in the forehead with his finger.
Raiden: Oww....
Carl: Pedro what the fuck!? Where did you find that?
Oh cool the Rayden... I mean Raiden... Why did they change his name... Anyways the Raiden wanna be was Pedro... Never would have guessed...
Pedro: In one of the boxes I was moving. Pretty cool eh?
Siarlis: Hey! I'm the Canadian one. You're not allowed to use eh... eh?
Pedro: Sorry...
Siarlis: Anyways as I was saying...
Before Siarlis can finish his sentence he is interrupted by a familiar face.
: Pooky!Siarlis realizes that it is the voice of play by play commentator, Allyson Cowell.
Siarlis: Uh oh…
Siarlis takes a deep breath, puts a smile on and turns around.
Siarlis: Oh! Hi!
Allyson: Hey… I haven’t seen you for a while.
Siarlis: Yeah… I missed you…
Allyson: Really!?
Siarlis: Umm… Sure…
Allyson holds on of Siarlis’ hands.
Allyson: I was so, happy when you showed up last time. Too bad you didn’t stay long.
Siarlis: I know…
Allyson: I mean after you showed up for that Battle Royal thingy, and after you unfortunately lost, we went out and had a fun night.
Siarlis: Yeah!
Allyson: But, then we were supposed to have a date the day after but, you had car trouble and couldn’t show up.
Siarlis: Sorry about that…
Allyson: We rescheduled but, then you had been attacked by ninjas on the way so, you said you would call me back to get another date set up.
As Allyson says this she starts to squeeze on Siarlis’ hand.
Siarlis: Umm… Ally!
Allyson: But, you didn’t call back and I thought something went horribly wrong! So I called you. Over and over and over again!
Ally starts to squeeze Siarlis’ hand more!
Siarlis: Ahhh! Ally what the hell!?
Allyson: 334 times! I called you 334 times… Maybe you changed your phone number. Then I sent you 700 emails but, no response.
Ally has starts to crush Siarlis’ hand. Siarlis is in so, much pain he falls to a knee.
Allyson: Maybe you didn’t have internet so, I sent you a letter, flowers, a collage with pictures of you and me that I photoshopped. Then I went to Canada to go to your parents’ house but, they said you weren’t there.
Siarlis: For the love of God, Ally this is my Cinemax hand.
Allyson: What!?
Ally sees Siarlis on his knees in pain.
Allyson: Opps… Well anyways that’s not important. You’re back now!
Ally gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Allyson: See you around!
Ally walks away while Siarlis gets back to his feet holding his hand. Siarlis turns back to Pedro and Carl.
Siarlis: That hurt!
Pedro: Mommasita est loco ese!
Siarlis: Ese… Did you just call me a term paper?
Carl: You’re an idiot!
Siarlis: Shut up! Anyways... I think I'm gonna be heading out now... Gonna go... Have nothing else to add to this post...
Carl: To the what?
Siarlis: Oh shit 4th wall! RUN!
Siarlis makes a hasty get away after being a god damn moron...
END...
Man I could have been Dyce's narrator but, no I went for this idiot!
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